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Max of The Max

actually, It has been my 3 days not talk yo my brother Ruben. after what his respond 2 days ago, I just get tired for all of that. For feel bad everytime for him, and give him away all the time. i just tired to feel guilty everytime I talk to him-Yes, he's perfect not like me. but i just tired.


I know, being independently in other countries make a big changes for both of us. Everyone has their own changes, for me, maybe, I become more hnderstand what people feeling as before I was so rude. but it makes me become kind of senaitive actually.

but him, I just think, he changes a lot also. Ruben that i know the sweetest persom in the world changes become somebody who more speak up. yeah, I like it, but i just not ready for that. If i have told you, i am hosted in family which will tell everything exactly what is it. if you dress ugly, that's you're, yeah, sometimes it's kinda rude, but that's the way it's rule.

so, last time. I got my varsity letter for manager. yes i know exactly that I am a manager and I proud of it. it doesn't mean you don't work for that. still.
I was on fire to show it to him. I was so excited to hear his comment about it. A sentence that would make me thought that i didn't waste my time for 3 months-basketball season.

BOOOM! it was totally way far from my expectation, his comment was so dissapointed me. for now, more than everything that I've been through here.
I just shook my head and ignore him. that's all i can do. i am too angry to see his face. and "MY OPINION" becomes his defense. and I just tired to debate about opinion because I know it will never end.
i know, maybe I am the one who become too sensitive and can't accept other opinion. but i can't stand with people who always understimate other.

I remember song from
Sherina, 'Lihatlah lebih dekat' makes me think everything that's going on here will be the best teacher in my life. and still I love him. and anytime he comes to start talking with me, I'll welcome and happy. but for now, I am tired to start it ;)
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